i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He kissed a someone with a penis
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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