I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
