he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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