Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I need help removing her.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
