Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
