Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
