I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
