i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
