she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my shit smells like andre
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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