so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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