grandma shit on top of the toilet
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
