new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
