Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
