Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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