they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
