my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
