So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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