Yo dont text me then not text me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
