maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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