Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
