Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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