when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
