Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
