I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
