do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
