Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The Olympian is in my bed
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
