My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
