I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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