So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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