So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
