And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
