I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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