return my video game
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
