it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
