I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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