Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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