are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
my poor anus
I'm getting married
To pizza
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
