i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
