We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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