Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
