My first STD was from a foam party
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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