Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
