I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
