i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
