Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
