We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
