Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
