then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
