just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
