Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
