fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
