gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
