her vagine was all disorganized.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
