I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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